Back in The Netherlands …

When I got back it finally hit me what happened and the reality of the situation set in. It was also at that time that I really started to read up on the articles on flight NW253 and reflecting on the experience. Needless to say I had a hard time the weeks afterwards and I took it easy at work. My clients (I’m a consultant at TOPdesk) got cancelled the first two weeks after I got back so I could have some time to reflect and process the experience. I had a lot of support from my parents, girlfriend, collegues, friends and family and I really want to thank them from the bottom of my heart for being there for me. Words can’t describe how gratefull I am.

I went to a councellor from victim support services because I needed to talk to someone who has expecience with people that experienced terrible things. I did so because I was afraid that I might have a backlash and might not be properly processing the experience of NW253. It was a very productive session and I was glad to hear that I was processing it in a proper manner and that I didn’t have to be afraid of a backlash. Those words comforted me a lot and he also explained why I was restless, easily irritated, less concentrated and wasn’t sleeping well. All of that helped me understand a lot more of what I was going through and helped me reflect on things. He also advised me to take time to heal (for a lack of better words) because it would take time, and at present time it might still take time to get over certain aspects. Like flying for example, on my vacation a few weeks ago I was very anxious during take off and landing. But that will get less in time and with more flying. The main difference with this kind of healing is that it’s not physical but psychological. You can see a scar heal in time because it’s visible, emotional healing is the same. The difference is you can’t see how far that scar has healed.

Like I said, that session helped a lot and I now roughly 3 months after NW253 I am doing fine and moving on with life. I can concentrate a lot better, am not quickly irritated as before, less restless and sleep a lot better. Though I have days that I still sleep very lightly or bad. I appreciate life even more, which I already did after the car accident I was in during my travels in China during the Olympics in 2008. Though I have my moments and still complain. Guess it’s human nature to complain about stuff. 😛 But I do try to look at the bright side of life, a cup is half full and not half empty. 🙂 Carpe diem, live life to the fullest, enjoy the moments you have and the people you care about.

Yeah I know, a lot of philosophical stuff but to end in an a humorous, not so serious and a bit of a sarcastic note. 😛 Here’s Monthy Python “Always look on the bright side of life”